Let me re-introduce myself

---

For many years I have hidden certain seasons of my life, not because I'm trying to hide from social media but because I have had certain struggles that have made me ashamed, quiet, and just plain miserable!

I have been trying to write & post this blog for a very long time. (Like since I started my blog!)

Many times I have felt ready to share this, but if we are being honest it's hard to be vulnerable! It's hard to put yourself on the spot and let people in.

Now, I want to make it clear that the reason why I'm opening up about this is because I am now in a place where I feel comfortable with sharing this part of myself.

So with that said, let me re-introduce myself

Name: Priscilla

B-day: 10/27

Status: Married to my best friend!♥️

Fav Food: Pizza and my moms sopes

Fav Movie: The Emperor's New Groove 🤣

Fav Color: Tan, White, Green

Fav Animals: 🐶(Rocky)🐱🐵🦆🐢🐿🐳

Hobbies: Art, Crafting, Creating

Job: Full-time job in education 🖥

Dream Job: Full time content creator

I have a lot of: Shoes, Jewelry, Makeup, Clothes

Love to: Be goofy, funny, dance, create

Hate: Cleaning😂, Folding/putting away clothes

and last but not least

(also what the rest of this blog will be about)

Struggles and Challenges: Anxiety - attacks & Depression, nail-biting, fear of being judged or letting people down....oh and I'm really bad at math 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Anxiety and Depression can look very different from person to person.

Click here to read Facts and Statistics from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America

For me it looks a bit like this:

-Having days where I have little to no motivation to do anything (I physically can not get out of bed sometimes)

-Doing simple task takes so much energy from me on a bad day

-Dark thoughts that cloud my mind and make me believe I'm better off not alive

-Loss of interest in activities I love

-Overwhelming feelings of sadness

-Bursts of anger and worry

-Overwhelming guilt for things I shouldn't feel guilty for

-Days where I'm in a funk and my body feels off/weird

-Anxiety attacks that make it hard to breathe

-Anxiety attacks where I mentally shut off

-Constantly worry if I forgot to do something (like lock doors-I know this is weird but I constantly check to make sure I lock doors. I will literally be in my car on my way out and I feel the need to go check it)

I highly recommend checking out https://adaa.org for more information about this topic. As mentioned Anxiety and Depression is different from person to person and there are many reasons as to why someone has anxiety and depression.

---

I know that I am not the only person in the world that has these struggles and If you are reading this now and struggle with this, please know that I get you, I see you, and I'm here for support. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

I've struggled with Anxiety & Depression for a very long time. I can pinpoint times in college where I had anxiety attacks in my dorm room (back then I didn't know what anxiety and depression was; Growing up I never learned about it). I was officially diagnosed in 2018. I still vividly remember the doctor coming in and asking me what's wrong as I burst into tears telling her I had no idea.

I had no reason to feel sad, angry, or depressed during this time (I had just gotten married).

The doctor then educated me on both anxiety and depression and suddenly my world made a little more sense.

I left the doctor office with a little bag of antidepressants and so much hope that they would be just what I needed.........the next year and a half was a nightmare!! Let me give you the quick version.

-I was prescribed an antidepressant that made me super sick. It caused my depression to get even worse and have many days of suicidal thoughts. My marriage suffered a lot during this time (Thank God for my loving husband) and although I would act like everything was okay, deep down I was struggling so much.

Dec 2018 Family Trip

About a month later (after this family trip) I accidentally almost cut off my thumb🤦🏻‍♀️ (I actually have a scar on my thumb and I can't feel half of it now🤷🏻‍♀️). Then the day before our 1 year anniversary I was in a car accident that caused me sever whiplash. The car accident also caused me to have vertigo and migraines that would completely shut down my entire body. During this entire time I was still suffering from the anxiety and depression and because the pills were only making it worse I made the decision to stop the antidepressant all together.

(Should I start a diary blog with my stories?-I actually have a personal diary from this time)

Fast forward to 2020 (Mid Quarantine) I returned to my doctor and told her I really needed help. (My depression was at its lowest during quarantine) It was then that I finally got prescribed an antidepressant that worked for my body and needs. Since then I have slowly seen a difference in my day-to-day life. It has not been an easy journey for both my husband and I. To this day I struggle with days where my mind takes over completely. I'm still learning my triggers, how I can calm myself down during an anxiety attack and what I can do to prevent/stop a bad day. Thank God that my good days are now outnumbering my bad days.

100% transparency the beginning of the year has been a little rough with my mental health so my doctor just doubled my antidepressant dose.

(I am not promoting or encouraging taking antidepressant in any way. This is simply my story and what I have done to help my anxiety and depression. If you have questions about antidepressants and different treatments click here)

Ive learned many things during these passed few years while struggling with both anxiety and depression. This mental Illness has allowed me to look at things very differently in my day to day, and despite the challengesI continue to face I thank God for the beautiful life he has given me.

I want to give a special thank you to my close family and friends that have helped me with encouraging words, a quick check in, prayers, and simply loving me for who I am. You mean the world to me.

For those of you that have struggled or currently struggle with this please know that I'm here if you ever need to talk, and for those who have never struggled with this and want to learn more about my experience please feel free to ask me any questions. I want to be an open book about my mental health journey and encourage those who are currently stuggling with this.

To conclude this post I would like to leave you with some words of affirmation. No matter the struggles you are going through

You are worthy

You are not broken

You are strong

You can do it

You got this

Keep going and know stuggles this will pass.

Im here for you

-Priscilla♥️